My mother told me that for years. I didn’t question it until shortly before she died.
“Mom, what do you mean by that? Dad took great care of you.”
My mother told me that when she left Ireland for America at age 18, her father told her – “Delia, take care of yourself because no one else will.’
Mom explained to me that while my father did take great care of her, it was her responsibility, first and foremost to take care of herself.
- Speak up for herself
- Make sure that her needs were being met
- Honor her commitments to herself
- Practice her version of self-care
Many of my clients are at a crossroads in their relationships. They share all of their frustrations and their anger about what their partner is or isn’t doing. Many are putting all of their expectations in life onto their partner. When they expect their partner to do it all for them, they have lost their power. Do it for yourself – first and foremost.
- Use your voice and make requests
- Take responsibility for getting your needs met
- Practice kind and positive self-talk
- Be your biggest cheerleader
After you do this for yourself, now you can enjoy your partner.
And not place unspoken or unrealistic needs onto them.
So the question is – are you taking care of yourself?
